Where is same age ‘Bachcha party’?

Kamra…
Kamre ke aage balcony…
Balcony ke aage garden…
Garden ke aage samandar… 

Can you recollect something… This is a dialogue from the film Mr. India... 

Now, everything remains the same… absent samandar… 

Mera Kamra hai…
Kamre Ke aage balcony hai…
Balcony ke aage garden hai…
aur garden mein khelte bachche hain… 

This playground with kids is nothing less than an observatory…

Yes, try to visualise a beautiful park or playground in front of your sweet home full of kids playing all over. One of them is my kid. Before briefing you the park scene, let me tell you ‘Yashraj’ is my only son. Single child policy is quite common these days… Growing up alone is something that I had not experienced till yesterday… But today, I know the pain and the gain of being the only child…


My only son comes to me every now and then and says – Mumma, mere saath khelo na… At times I play with him… but at other times I can’t… So I ask him to go and play in the park… he goes but comes back disappointed – “Koi mere saath khelta hi nahi hai”, “Koi mujhe khela nahi raha hai…”, etc.etc. 

This is everyday story with him, since he was two years old and just started going to the park. By the way, now he is five and a half year old. Everyone around said, one child is not a good idea, plan another one. But, we were not convinced. Slowly time passed, earlier I used to go with my son to the park and ask children to play with him. 

Lately, he wanted to go to the park on his own. He didn’t like mumma coming with him. Now kids ignore him and don’t play with him. Reason being he is too young in the group of kids who are 10+. Kids don’t enjoy handling a child half their age, rather than enjoying their game. They always deny his request to play with them. 

Often to be a part of the kids group in park, he tries to allure other children with his football, bat-ball, badminton, cars, guns etc. Sometimes his tricks work and kids come to him and let him run along with them. Mind my words… They allow him to run along with them, not play. They play their game, and fool him to be a part of it.

kids, He cries, fights with me. Let me add here, He is a pampered child. He owns a room full of facilities. He has his own bed, with an almirah for stationary, loads of games and toys… A television with cable TV, Apple TV and Bose music system. He plays there like a king, but with a melancholy on his face. A mother can clearly read this.

At times we feel that a child would feel good with a child… but with my experience I realised that, it is not the case. The child feels good with a child of his own age. Age factor matters for a kid, specially when he has to play with other kids. In case of his own sibling, things are different to some extent. Although issue of age gap persists. The only difference it makes, if you make sure that the difference between your two kids is not more than 2-3 years. 

Coming back to the park, you can see kids with cute expressions, sometimes happy, and confused at other times. Now try to watch more closely… You would find kids of different age groups struggling to enjoy with each other… We all would agree that the kids play but with a blank expression on their faces… The park or the playground gives them the platform to explore their area of interest… at the same time they miss their peer groups…

A child feels sad because he has no friends. He feels emotionally isolated. He is more likely to develop low self esteem. He is likely to get engaged in risky behaviours. He feels neglected, uncared and unwanted. All because he has no friends or siblings. As said by our elders – It is important to have at least two kids. Your kid would get a brother or sister. But does this actually solve the purpose ? May be to some extent, but conditions apply. Like, the sibling has to be just a couple of years elder than your kid. If the age difference is more than that, the problem continues.

So, What can be the solution ? Solution is to give them conducive environment where the child feels relaxed, wanted and cared. Apart from parents and family, he gets his own space. He gets his friends to discuss everything, to play and fight. Now, how to get same age group kids at one place. Till date, there is no provision of people with a particular age group kids live in the same place/locality. 

How can we make sure that there would be no more pleading – “Muche bhi apne saath khelne do bhaiya”. No more humiliation – “Jao yahan se, hum nahi khila rahe”. No more disappointment – “Koi mere saath khelta nahi hai”, Koi mujhe khilata nahi hai”, etc. etc. This adversely affects a child’s confidence, innocence, simplicity.

So what to do ? How to get these kids of same age group together ? 

Off course there won’t be any government Yojana or municipality van to do this. We would not be playing musical chairs with builders to select houses according to the child’s age. And we would never see hypothetical advertisements like these : 

‘Parents of kids of so and so age group apply here’.
Or
– Buy the property and get your child ‘Friends’. 

Or
– Check your child’s age and apply here
A Khand for kids age group 1-3 

B Khand for kids age group 4-6 

C Khand for kids age group 7-10 

D khand for children age group 10-15 

And so on…

I know I am being sarcastic. But a child’s psychological trauma about getting kids of his own age group to play with, is itself a sarcasm on the face of the society in which we live. Some kids don’t even get time from their working parents. They spend mornings in school and afternoons in creche or with a maid at home. So, quality time with the friends of same age group would, to some extent, solve their urge for sharing. Also, as a parent, you can plan your child’s day in advance.

A few activities I can suggest here, rest you can testify as per your kids choices and priorities.

    • First of all try to keep him busy. He should not have time to feel lonely
    • Whatever time you have for your child, make the best possible out of it. 
    • You can develop constructive hobby of creating something on their own. This would work like a stress buster. 
    • You know your child the best. So, you can even help him/her make friends in their locality. 
    • You can also let him join some group of kids for extracurricular activities. 
    • You can invite his/her friends home, or vice versa. These Kitty parties of kids can help you balance your child’s psychological turbulence. 
    • You can even organise family parties and get togethers. Here, although age group would not be the same but with uncles, aunts and their kids, your child would feel comfortable and happy. 
    • And Don’t forget to surprise your kid more often. May be an ice cream treat or a bicycle ride or some long awaited gift or some activity of his choice. 
    • Last but not the least, teach your child to be his/her own best friend. 

A few modifications in your lifestyle and daily timetable, would make your kids live happily ever after…